Girls < Boys

I'm not good at making girl friends.

Or maybe I'm not good at keeping girl friends.

It came so easy to me when I was in school. Find a hobby, find a buddy, and then have sleepovers and girly times with new found buddy.

I act much older than I am. I feel like I am a 30 year old trapped inside a 22 year olds body. I don't like to drink really, I am very career focused, and my idea of having a good time is watching comedy or staying in.

To be honest, I find a lot of other girls mean, gossipy and bitchy. Also annoying. That's probably a reason I can't seem to find a good girlfriends. I have such a negative view on girls, and have been stabbed in the back a lot. Which is sad. Especially when The Sex and the City movies came out. When the first one came out I went to it alone. It was really depressing sitting by myself with a medium buttered popcorn while all the other females in the room sat in lumps of 3 or 4. I'm sure they had already defined who was the Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte of the group.

I have a few girl friends. But its not like we get together on weekends, or call each other up "just to talk." I've secretly always wanted to have a fun stay-in girls night complete with wine, snacks and chick flicks.

I had a best friend a few years ago, "J."
We had the most fun imaginable. I remember so many times laughing so hard my stomach hurt. Then she moved away to university, and I was really sad. She kept in touch for a while, but the long distance friendship was hard to keep up. She was meeting new people at university, and I was starting out in the comedy world. Our other mutual friend blamed her for the demise of our relationship, and I did too. But I knew it was just people drifting apart. That's just how life is.

I guess I'm having a hard time trusting girls. Not all of them are malicious. I just need to keep telling myself that...