Ahhhh yes. The radio contest winner. The early morning – mid afternoon surprise that leaves the listener thinking “boy, I wish that were me.” Trips around the world, concert tickets, movie premiere passes, spa packages and more. What could be wrong with that?
I’ll tell you what.
The stupid sons of bitches that enter to win, end up winning, and are not excited at all about winning.
Example:
This morning, as I drove to work, barely awake but ready to start the day I landed on the radio station Vibe 98.5. Usually I hate listening to people talk in the morning, but this was a special occasion. Vibe was giving out free trips to San Francisco. Flights and accomodation paid for thanks to Vibe 98.5 and WestJet vacations. These weren’t even just chances to win trips to San Francisco, but ACTUAL PAID-IN-FULL TRIPS to go to San Francisco.
“Hey (insert girl’s name here)! It’s so and so from Vibe 98.5 calling to say that you’ve won a trip to San Francisco!!!!”
My heart pounded a little faster, excited and anticipating the screams of joy that would come from the other side of the phone. What a magnificent surprise! She must be so thrilled! Excited! Overjoyed! ELATE-
“Oh... wow... that’s so great.”
That was it. That was her response to winning a free trip to San Francisco. As if someone offered her a bite of their bagel. “That’s great, thanks I was hungry.”
NO. NO. NO.
OK OK OK. SCENARIO: You’re entering a contest to win a free trip. ANYWHERE. Hell, even a one night stay at a nice hotel in Calgary. MOSTLY EVERYONE is probably thinking “Oh man, my chances are pretty slim, but wouldn’t that be awesome if I won!”
That thought is why ANYONE enters a contest. No one ever expects to win, but that is what makes winning so sweet.
I once won a shitty DVD player from a work Christmas party. I was ecstatic. I was even expecting to win because basically everyone won a prize. SMITTEN WAS I - THAT I HAD WON SOMETHING. I JUMPED WITH JOY AS I HELD THE SHITTY DVD PLAYER UP IN THE AIR.
THIS WAS MY SHITTY DVD PLAYER. “YOU’RE THE BEST, SHITTY DVD PLAYER!” I bellowed, into the snowy night.
Someone wins A FREAKIN TRIP TO SAN FRANCISCO AND HER RESPONSE WAS “Oh... wow... that’s so great”?!?!?!?!?!
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING WORLD.
THAT is NOT the correct response.
EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE GETTING PUNK’D WHEN SOMEONE CALLS YOU SAYING THAT YOU HAVE WON A TRIP SOMEWHERE, ACT LIKE YOU HAVE WON THE LOTTERY. Plus that would be the lamest prank ever, and they should be ashamed of themselves. (You would be win and they would be fail.)
I wish every person who won trips on the radio were homeless people. At least then we would get a genuine response.
“Hi homeless man, you’ve won a trip to a motel!”
“I’M SO DRUNK AND EXCITED!”
That’s what I think would happen.
xoxo,
Amanda Brooke Perrin
Heyyy now, I was at that Xmas party too :)
ReplyDeleteI remember it haha